


Looks and knowledge

by Victoriancrow



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Series Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:26:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5181908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Victoriancrow/pseuds/Victoriancrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After yet another war Dexter Vex and Saracen Rue decide to crash at Skulduggery's house. With some help of alcohol Dexter learns something that Saracen has been keeping to himself for a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looks and knowledge

It had been a long fight with Darquesse. Both Dexter and Saracen had wounds to heal until they would be considered cleared by any normal doctor though everyone who knew them would tell that idiot the two Dead Men were well enough. They practically forced their way out of the recuperation ward to the freedom of the, not so safe nor clean, world. Skulduggery had offered them a place to stay until they could both get back on their feet. They took it happily especially after Ghastly had offered the same but with words of helping him out with tailoring. 

 

As they arrived in the small house the two looked around with odd faces.

 

"So this is where the great skeleton detective goes to get some beauty sleep." Dexter said prodding at a couch that seemed to have gotten into a bad fight.

 

"Or shall we say get some-"

 

"Make any bone jokes Saracen and I will make sure you get to sleep on the couch Dexter is currently dismantling out of what I can only assume to be envy due to the immaculate design on that very old and, I would assume, very expensive antique."

 

Dexter shook his head smiling. "No Skul I was wondering if it had been possessed as well from the shambled mess its in."

 

The skeleton hummed and walked further into the house motioning with a lazy flick of the wrist at every door telling the others what was in each. Before he went to his own makeshift room where he moved his favorite chair into knowing that the two would more than likely be staying with him. It was also easier since Valkyrie was staying over more often than naught. "Just do try to keep the place in one piece."

 

Dexter pulled a bottle of Whiskey from his bag and waved it at the detective. "No promises Skul."

 

He sighed closing the door to meditate the day away and mainly to block out the twos, soon to be, drunken babbling.

"Where did you get that from?"

 

Dexter smiled shaking his head cockily. "You know things Rue. You tell me." He popped open the top and took a swig enjoying the slight burn as it went down his throat. 

 

Saracen reached over and grabbed the bottle from the other and took a hearty drink as well. "I know important things Vex."

 

"What like you knew that one girls bra size?"

 

"No that was just a good guess."

 

The two broke into a fit of laughter and continued drinking out of the bottle and sitting on the destroyed couch. When the bottle was finished Dexter looked at it as if it had insulted his very mother. Saracen took the opportunity to laugh.

"I may not know where you got yours," he said pulling a matching full version of the same drink out of his bag, "but I do know where I got this."

 

A booming laugh escaped Dexter’s mouth as he clapped a hand on the others back. "You brilliant bloke you! I could marry you right on the spot."

 

"Don't let all of your admirers hear you say that. If they knew a bottle of Whiskey was all it took to min your heart you would lose your reputation."

 

He gave a flourish of a hand as he acted aghast. "I can't disappoint my fans now can I." A punch to Dexter’s arm sent the two laughing again. 

 

They didn't talk again until the drink was gone.

 

"You think Skulduggery would have any booze left in the house?” Saracen asked looking towards the kitchen area.

“If he does than it’s gonna be very aged and very strong.” The two walked into the kitchen and started to ruffle through the cabinets looking for anything that could have held alcohol. “Do you think that Skulduggery will wake up with all of the noise?”

Saracen looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. “No he’s out of it pretty hard. He won’t be awake until morning where he’s going to either yell at us or go back to his room dependent on what he’s going to walk into.” 

“Wow that’s an amazing use of your power. But, hear me out.” He walked over putting his hands on the other’s shoulders leaning in close enough for Saracen to smell the alcohol on his breath. “Use the power to find the alcohol so we can drink some more.” 

He laughed and walked around the other and reached for the picture of a strange flower hanging on the wall. Taking down the photo a small opening was revealed. “Bingo.”

“Over 400 years and bingo is the best thing you could think of to say?”

Saracen gave shrug. “It worded didn't it?” He took out the bottle that had more dust on it than anything should have. “Why hide it in such an obvious spot? I mean only a child wouldn’t… Oh wait I get it. Valkyrie has been staying over.”

“Who would have thought Skul was responsible when it comes to drinking.”

“Guess he has to have one thing that he’s a stickler for other than ‘buckling up’.”

“God he still tells ME that.”

“That’s because you are about as responsible as Valkyrie on a good day.”

“Hmm.” Dexter said scratching his chin. “That’s pretty interesting. But aside from that let’s pop open that bottle of whatever the hell it is and drink this last battle out of my mind.” He said popping the cap off of it and taking a swig. His eyes went wide and he shivered. “Holy shit this is strong. Rue take a sip of it.” He handed of the mystery drink to the other watching as his face did the same. Dexter laughed as the other sputtered out the drink.

“What was that?! “ Saracen looked at the bottle but couldn’t find anything label. “Is this homemade?”

Dexter took the bottle and looked around. “It has a family crest on it. I don’t know what crest it is but if he didn't hide it in the vault it can’t be that important.”

“It could be a trap.”

The both stood there looking at the bottle before breaking out into laughter. They sat back down on the broken couch and passed the bottle back and forth before it was all done. They couldn’t feel the effects of the alcohol take control until they were both falling on the floor laughing uncontrollably and at nothing at all. The flopped on top of one another trying to talk but not saying anything that would not have made sense to a sober person. In their drunken stupor the two had ended up in a lip lock. They didn't know who started it or when it had happened but neither of them wanted to stop. 

It wasn’t the first time the two had kissed and they knew it wasn’t near the last. Unlike their normal exchange of strong kisses and heated touches the kisses were soft, a bit sloppy, but very nice. They stayed like that for a while, just touching each other and sitting together both glad to be alive. 

Time passed slowly for the two of them until the finally ended their kiss to breath. Dexter smiled at the other holding his scruffy face but frowned when he saw Saracen’s melancholy expression. “Hey what's with the face Rue? Why do you look like-“

“What am I to you?” Saracen asked without looking at the other. He sometimes got a little depressed when drinking but Dexter supposed the events of the last fight were taking its tole on him. He hugged him again and tried to kiss him before Saracen pushed him back. “Dexter please, tell me what am I to you?”

“Saracen you’re my friend. You are one of the most important people to me. We’re Dead Men. And Dead Men don’t abandon each other.”

Shaking his head Saracen let go of the other giving a small sad laugh. “You don’t see it do you?”

“See what?! You don’t make any sense Sar. Talk to me. Please?” He tried to touch the other but Saracen had pulled himself away to sit in the corner. Reaching out a hand he tried to get the other to calm down. “It’s not your fault Rue. You didn't mean to hurt anyone and you didn't do anything bad.”

“I don’t care about that.” He said quietly. “I just don’t know why you still stay by me.” 

“What do you mean?”

“You are loved by everyone who sees you. Everyone knows you as the handsome Adept who can woo anyone. As for me. Well I’m just the guy who knows things. Outside of that I’m nothing.”

Dexter was dumbstruck. “You think that’s all you are good for? Jesus Saracen you think that low about yourself?” The other didn’t answer. “Look you need to take a deep breath. You were on a lot of drugs after you got that wall dropped on top of you. The alcohol must be having some kinda ill effect. Just let me help you.”

Saracen stood up quickly, glaring at the other. “You seriously thin that.” He shook his head walking up the stairs and into the bathroom to take a cold shower. The cold water felt good on the other and it helped him calm down a bit to even his head. He didn't hear the other open the door closing it behind him and strip down as well to join him until the curtain was pulled back. Saracen looked up room his spot on the floor. He wasn’t crying. He hadn’t cried for over 200 years and he wasn’t about to start at that moment. The water traveling down his face did help with the pain though. Staring at the other he didn’t look away until Dexter sat down on the floor of the shower alongside him. 

“So…”

“Yeah…”

They sat in silence for a while until Dexter said carefully. “You know. I may have looks to rival any God, accept you know the Faceless ones because they are horrifying, but do you know how many times a woman has talked to me to get your number?” He slung an arm around the other. “Far more often than I will ever admit to you, or anyone else.” That caused the slightly chubbier man to chuckle. “See. Just because I am the most handsome man in the world, proven fact I’ve taken a poll, you will always be right up there next to me.” He smiled slyly. “And sometimes under me.”

“Dex shut up.” He said breaking into a heavy laughter.

“And on kinky occasions over me.” That earned him a playful punch to the arm and a kiss to his cheek. “Better?”

“Yeah. Let’s get out of here.”

The two got out of the shower and dried off with the pare towels Skulduggery had gotten for when Valkyrie came to visit. Once dry they traveled back down to the living room and laid down on the couch. Cuddling up to one another. Once they were both in a comfortable position they fell asleep.

The two were woken up to an angry voice yelling at them. They sat up and looked to see Skulduggery pointing and yelling. 

“What did I tell you two? Don’t destroy my house and what do you do? There is wine and vomit on the floor. The couch will have to be thrown out because I won’t allow Valkyrie to sit down where you two have been lying naked and have, more than likely, done things with each other. You steal the wine that I have been keeping for Valkyrie’s birthday after she goes through the change and you use it as a way to screw each other. I offered you a place to rest not to have a party as I try to meditate the past few days out of my cranium.” He opened his jaw to continue but was interrupted by Dexter.

“Hey Skul keep it down I have a massive hang over and I’m pretty sure that Saracen may want to relax a bit more since last night we decided to-“

“I’m finished. Clean my house and I will go back to my room. I think I’ll need some more time to wake up myself.” With that the Detective spun on his heal and walked back to his room slamming the door behind him.

“Huh I guess you were right. He both yelled AND walked back to his room.” Saracen started laughing being joined by Dexter in no time.

“I guess I was. Now, I’m going to go back to sleep before this hang over kills me and since you are underneath me it looks like you too are going to sleep.”

Giving another chuckle Dexter hugged the other to himself. “Good.”

Saracen looked down at the other before relaxing and falling back to sleep. They both stayed like that and fell back asleep glad for the break from their chaotic life and happy to finally be free to take a breath.


End file.
